Is your child an Introvert, Extrovert, or Ambivert? And Why Does it Matter?
We all need to recharge our batteries, rest, be grounded, or get energized. However you say it, the meaning is the same: each person has a preference for how they rejuvenate themselves and their energy. Understanding if your child is an introvert, an extrovert, or an ambivert strengthens the connection you have with them. Knowing this part of your child helps you to better recognize and better respond to your child’s needs. When you are able to recognize and respond to your child’s needs, they are free to become the best version of themselves.
If your child is the life of the party, loves to meet new people, and is a social butterfly, you might have an extrovert on your hands! Extroverts feel recharged and are typically happiest in the company of others. They are typically outgoing and easily make friends. They may be bold in social situations and may have never met a stranger. When your extrovert is not around others for a few hours or days, they may start feeling anxious, sad, or irritable. They may be craving social interactions. They feel more energized and motivated when they are around others. Extroverts typically love to laugh, talk, and play with others.
As a parent, what does this information mean for you? Extroverts may become sad, irritable, or despondent if they go too long without meaningful interactions for them. How long is too long? It depends on the child. Some extroverts crave lots of social time daily, while others may be able to go a few days or more without much social interaction. Be aware of your child’s needs in order to help them get the social time they need to be their best selves. Scheduling regular play dates, joining sports teams, or being involved with other extracurricular activities may help them meet their needs of being socially active.
If your child is more reserved when they meet new people and enjoys time alone, you might have an introvert in your family! Introverts can be just as much fun and just as energetic as extroverts, but they do not want to be the center of attention. In our society, it can be seen as a negative thing to be an introvert, but there is no shame to it. It is how some people are made and they should be respected as such. It typically takes longer for introverts to open up to others. Introverts typically feel drained and exhausted after being in groups of people like at parties, at gatherings, or in crowds. For children who are introverted, being in school all day can be incredibly draining and they made need some alone time to decompress or play quietly after school. Don’t let all of this information fool you, though! Introverts also need and crave social time. These cravings or needs are simply fewer and further between as compared to extroverts. Introverts also typically prefer social time with just one or two other people at a time. When introverts feel comfortable with a particular person or set of people, they often appear to be like an extrovert in that they play loudly, dance, sing, etc.
As a parent, being aware of your introvert’s need for space and alone time is important to their ability to recharge. Even if your other children are extroverted, you may still have a child who is introverted and vice versa. It is important to balance social time with down time for introverts. Introverts may be shy upon first meeting new people. Give them space and time to feel comfortable around new people. Do not push them to give hugs or to get close to others until they are ready. This is true for extroverted children, too. If they do not want to hug or touch someone, allow them the space and time they need to feel comfortable and safe. Even if you feel the new person is harmless, this teaches children to listen to and to trust themselves.
An ambivert is someone who demonstrates a combination of extroverted and introverted traits. They get their energy from people at times and also from being alone. Ambiverts may feel outgoing in some social situations, while they feel reserved in others. Trying different tactics like the ones mentioned earlier may help you to determine what your particular child needs to feel recharged. Another way to know is to ask what they need. Sometimes your child may not know what they need, so offering suggestions such as play dates, alone time, or cuddling may be a helpful way to start brainstorming.
As a parent, knowing your child is an ambivert can guide how you respond to your child’s needs. You may feel frustrated or embarrassed that sometimes your child will hug Aunt Melanie or Uncle Justin and sometimes they will not. You may find yourself wondering why they are being so rude. They very likely are not being rude, but are working out their inner needs. Be patient and understanding when they need space and when they need social time. You have other ways to teach children good social manners without forcing touch. They may communicate respect, gratitude, and love in non-verbal ways such as through looking at people a certain way, drawing a picture for someone, making some art for someone, and a multitude of other ways.
There is no one way to be that is better than others. As parents, be sure to notice changes in your child. For example, if an extrovert suddenly becomes withdrawn and keeps to themselves, it may be a sign of depression. Otherwise, enjoy your children for who they are, respect their needs and boundaries, and help them navigate life as best as you can. If you struggle in your relationship with your child, help is a phone call away. Reach out to Clear Life Counseling & Testing to take the next steps toward health and clarity.